I have established that there is a code in the descriptions of Norfolk towns:
"Historic Market Town" appears to mean "complete and utter shitpit."

Hours of amusement at my discovery of a sister campaign to the "Think Don't Drink" (and Drive) campaign.
"Think! Don't Sink."

Poltergeists or Maintenance Men
- it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
Will Smith taught me that.

today the weight on my chest is
poltergeists
omnipresent
it is the stories of ghosts and perverted criminal maintenance men
it is the work that is due next week
it is - mainly it is the one thing I want that I can't figure out how to get
the thing that I cannot buy
or earn
or steal
it is the one thing that I work towards and daydream about and can't give up on
no matter how hopeless it might appear
today the weight on my chest is
poltergeists
omnipresent

"I think we should emulate the sea horses."

Event Scores or Pointless Instructions

Don't look at the elephant

Breathe

Don't die

Go two minutes without falling over

Don't do this performance

the raindrop hits the flame and drowns it
(you couldn’t make this shit up)
everything goes dark
it seems a kinda bleak message
but standing in the rain of an evening staring at a match will send your mind in bleak directions. At the best of times.
there’s a performance tomorrow and
it seems kinda a bleak message
Luckily I know The Nicest Guy In The World
(yes, I finally stopped relying on The Narcissist for sympathy or The Uncaring Ones for friendship)

"They are fuckers those fuckers."
- Czernobog; 'American Gods' by Neil Gaiman

"It's hard to find the jokes these days."
- Mr Nancy; 'American Gods' by Neil Gaiman

"me, I like them tellin' tales, tales that show my cleverness. It's a fault, I know, but it's the way I am."
- Mr Nancy; 'American Gods' by Neil Gaiman

Me, I like telling tales, tales that make people laugh. It's a fault, I guess, but it's the way I am, and the tales'll show you that the way I am ent the best way to be. I never thought anyone saw them as anything other than amusing tales in which I generally look a bit silly. Now I find myself despised because of them. My 'current lifestyle' is condemned. My actions, described as an extended joke about my own stupidity, have been deemed dangerously irresponsible and condemned.

"bread is expensive"

it's all falling together.
or falling apart.
I haven't decided yet.

today i found out more zombie facts that i will ever need to know.

Event Score Story:
1. Dress in your best suit
and fall over in the mud.
Get completely filthy then
carry on walking.

2. Walk through the town
covered in mud. If
anyone comments on
your appearance explain
that you've just climbed
out of your grave.

3. Start a panic about
zombies.

4. Go a whole day without
being shot with a shotgun.

5. Go a whole day without
having your head chopped
off.

6. Go a whole day without
being stabbed in the
head.

7. Go a whole day without
being beaten to death
with a baseball bat.

8. Kill or convert almost
the entire population of
a small town.

9. Give cannibalism a
try.

10. Kill the dog. There's
always a dog.

11.Launch an attack on
a church.

12. Receive a shotgun
wound.

13. Win.

14. Tell a story through
event scores.

15. Hand out a story of
event scores - one
score to each member
of the audience. Watch
to find out how long it
takes them to find the
story - if the do.

Rachel is working. / is physically incapable of sticking to a plan even if the plan is 'slack.' / is fed up with performance, presentation and other practical things.

So.
Waiting and wordpress and wifi.
Welcome back blogger. Still I can't post from home and you won't let me use all the interesting formatting I love so much, but our relationship is stronger than such petty concerns.

Remember me? I am a writer now.